HYBRID

Get me a drink.

Nobody reads you because you don’t write. Nobody knows you because you don’t speak out. However, I’m not fond of those who fill the air with words, especially with non-sense issues, and I’m sure you, reader, are not one of them. The paragraphs are not connected with each other, just bear with it.

Now, I’m 19 and what do kids do when they’re nineteen? Some of them enjoy their life through adventure trips, relationships whether petty or not, night outs, traveling to different places or just going out to malls. Some of them make their lives busy by studying really hard and having no time for “cool” stuffs. Well, I don’t want to talk whichever I am between those two or if I fit other categories, what I would like to talk about here is that, you’ll never look in life the same way as you did when you’re 18 and it would continue happening all over again.

I am always amazed by fireworks, because when I stare at them, it feels like the sky engulfs me completely. I stand still and I think of nothing else but the fireworks. But like the fireworks, beautiful things don’t last as long as you would like them, no matter how technology fixes it, it would still perish in minutes or even in ages.  I don’t know much about beautiful things, all I know is that all things were created beautiful. If it doesn’t fit with the beauty standards, well, that’s the society looking on it. You know when I was a kid, everything seemed nice but it is not so true now.

The subway, the bus, the travel, whenever I am traveling, these things always makes me think again about my life. Yes, I am talking about a nineteen year-old girl wandering about her past, funny right? But you see, as you pass any road, it’s like life. You’ll only pass that particular road once, and if you wish to come back, everything would not be the same even if you put the things back as you have seen them before.

I am not the talkative type of person, when you meet me, I won’t talk to you that much. One thing I saw in my own silence is that it is always a search for what I was lacking. Silence, more than any beautiful music, would make me reflect deeply into my being. But you know what, the silence I am talking about here is not the physical silence but the internal silence, soul if you may, or even cognitive silence.

What is life for my age other than enjoying life is about 60-80% of our time set to studying and this isn’t joke for us, maybe for the future it would be, but this is work for us. We give ourselves wholly unto it even if we are not claiming about it, yes we do. This work and maybe all the other types of work in the world must be difficult for it wouldn’t be called work if it isn’t. But work becomes more wonderful because it is pain and at the same time, when you are doing what you want, even the pain strikes you straight to your heart; you are still going to pursue it because you love it.

I like long walks, it keeps me awake and like long rides, it makes me re-think my life again.  However, I would especially like longs walks if I walk with people who talks, whether there’s sense or not, as long as they are talking. This gives me also the insight that I may not be the best speaker but I’m a good listener here, buddy.

You drink coffee? Me? Yes. I drink coffee every morning but that only makes me awake physically. I don’t want to drink coffee at night because in the next morning I really feel weak like my bones got softer in just one night. Why coffee belongs in this list? Look at how you make decisions, it’s like drinking coffee, you’ll always be awake for you know something is at stake.

This paper, this page, oh dear, this only becomes a paper when I write on it, but when I don’t it looks pretty non-sense to me. Like joining organizations or merely participating in any activity, if you just stand there as a spectator, you are good as nothing.

Telephones and mobile phones, yes they are pretty products of technology. Once the phone rings, there is always a dilemma for answering it, especially for mobile phones because you could see the name of the person calling. Decision – making may sound tough but could be in the little packages also.

Then I looked up at the sky again, no more fireworks for they are temporary. You think of a vision. You know what, when you are directly looking only at a vision, it may be clear but the boundaries or backgrounds are blurry. What are you thinking about now? Are you pinned at only one thing? Well, better change the way you see the vision for the vision itself is nothing without its body. Like your life, how are you dealing with it today? Do you mind only your interests or are other people included in it? Yes, here speaking of your neighbour.

Finally, you’ll wear shoes or even slippers every day. Why am I so sure? Because that’s the simplest proof that you have the privilege of reading this and other people, especially those who are poor and unlearned don’t. Those shoes are not meant only for walking. Those shoes are one of the things to remind you that you may step on them all the time, but sometimes, you are letting them step on you. You do the latter and the whole of your life becomes nothing. Think now, think about your life. You might be wasting time to be better but maybe only for yourselves. It’s time to be better for the world and humanity. Step on those shoes with human dignity and never let the problems bring you down. Step on those shoes with honesty because it is more painful to die as a liar. Step on those shoes with sympathy, for when you care about others, that is the least thing you could do for them. Step on those shoes as a human.

You know, all these stuffs mean nothing if not appreciated and reflected upon. I’m young but I still have the freedom to write and so I write. The best thing in the world would remain yet unseen if you keep your eyes closed. I don’t really know if I had made sense here but I want to share something real in me. As I have said, I do not talk a lot, maybe, this has been an outlet for me, but more than that, this speaks for me and for what I am thinking now.

As I finish this glass, I would like to say good luck to you, kid.

Well, always remember, this is just from another kid.