Caramel Speaks

I hate to burst someone else’s bubbles but I think I would not like to celebrate the New Year’s Eve. It feels that although we are complete, we are broken. Although we stand firm, we’re disabled. Although we keep smiling, our hearts were bleeding. Although we have faces to show people, I bet, that's not always the real us. If it was just me, there’s no reason to celebrate, at all. People won’t understand where I am coming from and they  wouldn't  even take a step back. Never would I have experienced such atrocity in my heart before, painfully killing my soul and tearing it into pieces. During these moments, I would rather be busy than being calm; rather be preoccupied than abandoned. It would be better to forget oneself than endure the chaos inside. I am miserable and disoriented now. Everything plays randomly on my mind and I don’t know which to shut down and which to start. Mess, that’s what I am. Sooner or later, I would forget about these things. Years fr...

To my crush, Three years have passed, some things changed, some things remained the same. You were the sunshine lighting my every day. You were the best part of my story. You were the one I have waited to complete me. Since the first time I saw you, I have been longing for you. Every day I am wishing that you could spare some time with me or even greet me. Seeing you makes my heart sing with gladness. I am very happy seeing my name in the first line of your message, whatever message it may be. I have also thought if you would only text me if you needed some information about academic stuffs, well that was ok for me as long as my name was there, just kidding. Every time we ate together with my best friends, I could always resist hiding my feelings for you. Could you still remember the first time we went outside together, just the two of us? Well, me, I could remember every detail. It was also December then. I am very happy to be with you that night, it was like a date, kid...

People walk through our lives with reasons not to be revealed unless we dwell with them, reasons unraveled throughout ages, and reasons we never knew ever existed. We often categorize people as to how special they are in our lives yet at times, we fail to show them how we exactly feel towards them. When you already had the perfect place and timing to tell that special person how you feel, you will always regret it yet you cannot blame yourself for not doing such a thing for your own personal reasons. In this blog post, let me share my first domestic travel. I was not really excited to go to that place, because for me, it was just a form of escape from the places I am very used to, to be a stranger once again. I was with some of my closest friends. Six days of no hustle and bustle. I need not narrate everything that has happened during those days. The most important parts of the vacation were the moments that I had with my special friend. Day one, two, three, up to the sixth day, ...

What would you choose, the love of your life or the life that you love? #soon.

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb  one day , like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. ” - from Neil Gaiman * I felt bitterness and reality in these word...

Our  lives can be summed up and governed by three points: EGO, CHARACTER, SELF-ACTUALIZATION   Ego: you’re the best, you’re the worst                 What there was to be proud of about myself, no matter what industry we choose, that’s the challenge! Support your ego. Do not better your ego. Do not look down on someone. Temper your ego. Not be the worst, not be the best. Be good enough and make yourself right-sized. Character: end justifying the means                 Leaving the cradle, the opportunity is yours to solidify who you really want to be and what values that you hold true; what will your character be, and what would people say about you; what would people think about you; will you be known as honest, fair, trustworthy, humble, generous, compassionate, it’s up to you. It takes all types to make...

Ten minutes. Please talk. Nine minutes. Please talk. Eight minutes. Please talk. Seven minutes. Please talk. Six, five, four minutes. Please talk. Three minutes. He won’t talk. Please talk. Two minutes. Say hello at least. One minute. Last chance, just say hello. Thirty seconds. Please? He did not talk to me. Oh well.